That’s what the members of my family tell me after learning that I’m no longer with the guy they met earlier this year, the guy that dropped everything he was doing to travel with me 100 miles when my grandfather was in the hospital due to a serious heart condition. Yea, that’s how he was introduced to half of my family — the strong, support system of a grieving girlfriend.

But what they didn’t know was that for almost two years, we pretended. We created a wonderful façade of two beings growing together. We traveled. We dined. We celebrated. But we did these things (in my opinion) to keep up with the time spent. Around a year, we said the L word. And around a year and a half, he put his weekend on hold to comfort me as my grandmother, father, aunts, and cousins came together as my frail grandfather lied in that hospital room. Yea, it was all good when the cameras were rolling.

But honestly, we were far from ideal. We weren’t always that way, but we failed to fight for what we had in the beginning, thus creating an environment of passivity and maintainability. That led to the deterioration of what little relationship we had left and eventually having to tell my closest friends and family that we were dunzo.

So my family meant well. But even though the sentiment spoken should have provided some sort of hope and solace that my gallant former suitor would eventually come back around, I really don’t need it. To want him back would mean regaining a life of mediocrity was better than being single. And nah, I’m good.

Credits: Caleb Ekeroth

Published by Ashleigh

Ashleigh is a recent M.S. graduate from Northeastern University. She works as an interactive designer in Atlanta and loves dogs, Netflix, and great food. Oh, also the creator and designer of this here shindig you are reading right now. View my impersonal personal blog @

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  1. Ashleigh


  1. This is why I love you!! What a way to experience, fail (for a lack of a better phrase), and continue on. You owe us (social media) no explanation but I LOVE how you used your experience to tell a story and relate to other who have gone through the same thing. Keep writing, working, and being awesome.


  2. Sometimes we try to make men fit us
    shrinking ourselves and deeming our lights to try and make a couple
    pushing the truth deep down in our subconscious
    knowing all the time
    He was coming up short
    Not the part
    Not the man
    that will help us
    that will move us
    along this journey to
    become our best
    our greatest selves
    Yes, you remember
    ignoring all the signs
    all the conversations
    Now the whisper
    that thought you had in the beginning
    has turned into
    a loud clinging sound
    “it’s time to move on”
    and he can not accompany you any further
    its time to separate the wheat from the tare
    It’s painful but
    only for a little while
    baby girl, God has a plan for your life
    a destiny with an expected end that does
    not include him.

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