One of the worst things about dating is when you get in that comfortable lull with someone. You know, when you start texting each other back and forth, enjoying Netflix and chilling, and basking in being boo’d up. This stage, better known as the talking stage, can get you caught up and stuck if you’re not careful.

But don’t fear.

You can get out of the talking stage if you’ve been there for a while.

Beware, sis. This could get ugly.

To get out of the talking stage, you need to do the following three things:

1. Know what you’re going to say.

What do you want from this? A relationship, timeline, or commitment? Take into consideration how long you two have known each other, starting dating, emotional connections, etc. Remember the benefits of you being in his life and how valuable you are.

2. Honestly and boldly talk to your bae.

Preferably in person. Doing this over text messages can lead to delayed responses, third-party input, and losing control of the conversation. When you talk to him, don’t waver. Stand firm on your demands.

3. Be prepared to walk away single.

If he stutters, makes an excuse about wanting to get to know each other or not rushing into things, end it. Especially if you’ve been talking for over two months. Nothing good will come from this.

An indecisive or emotionally immature boo-friend will continue to string you along until you get tired. You’re worth more than that, sis. But who knows. He might find this conversation as the perfect time to evaluate what a gem he has in his life.

Either way, good luck!

Published by Ashleigh

Ashleigh is a recent M.S. graduate from Northeastern University. She works as an interactive designer in Atlanta and loves dogs, Netflix, and great food. Oh, also the creator and designer of this here shindig you are reading right now. View my impersonal personal blog @

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