About six weeks ago, your homegirl went dark. Well, not completely, but sometimes it would take her longer to respond to your texts. And she wasn’t anywhere to be found during prime live-tweeting hours. Occasionally, you’d see a hint of life as she posted ambiguous photos on Facebook. You knew she was alive though. I mean, who else would be playing music under her Spotify account?

And then it happened.

One day, she posts a photo on Instagram with a Beyonce lyric as the caption. The picture that accompanies the caption, however, is of her and some guy. Maybe you know him or maybe you don’t. It doesn’t matter. After weeks and possibly months of low-key dating, she’s debuted him to the world as her boo thang.

It’s probaete season, y’all.

Similar to the process in which Greek-hopefuls emerge as members of their respective organization during their coming out show, showcasing your significant other on Instagram, Facebook, or the like is a big deal. It usually means the two of you have progressed in your courtship to the point where you are ready to announce to the world that you are legitimately a couple. No talking, no testing the waters. This is for real. That’s bae.

However, declaring your #him on the social webs could bring unsolicited attention to your accounts. If he’s fine or is social media popular, you might get a few lurkers and submessagers. And of course, someone has to tell y’alls exes that you’re chose now. The petty love to wallow. But it’s not all bad. Your close friends would celebrate this new step, especially if they have boos too. (Read: double dates!) And if he’s mature and well-balanced, he will know how to respond to any inappropriate comments if they occur.

So get ready. The next few weeks are sure to reveal many that have graduated beyond the stay low and build stage. And if your probaete is around the corner, I hope you’re ready for everything that comes next. But more than anything, congrats, sis! Welcome to the chose life!

Published by Ashleigh

Ashleigh is a recent M.S. graduate from Northeastern University. She works as an interactive designer in Atlanta and loves dogs, Netflix, and great food. Oh, also the creator and designer of this here shindig you are reading right now. View my impersonal personal blog @ socialeigh.com.

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  1. This just cracked me up! I am totally one of the people texting my close friends any time they pop up on my instagram timeline with a new man (well new to me).It’s crazy the impact social media has these days. #BLMgirls


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