It’s almost that time for us to tie the knot and I can’t get over the fact that I’m going to have to change my last name. Seriously, did I really think this through when I was pressuring him to marry me? Nope! There are several reasons why I want to keep my last name.
1. My name is my name.
I’m like Marlo on The Wire. My name IS my name. I’ve been called Cousin all my life. Even HE calls me Cousin. My last name is unique. It’s the perfect conversation starter. I tell a guy my last name, let him get his corny jokes out the way, I laugh at his corniness and move on to exchanging those digits. Granted, I don’t have to worry about that now that I’m getting married but still it’s the principle. His last name is generic, boring, common, dull, and other adjectives that get the point across. So how do you expect me to be excited about going from unique to common? I mean can you turn a ho into a housewife?! Wait… Ok. Moving right along.
2. Women’s rights.
I am no longer required to solely rely on the financial stability of my spouse. I can hold my own. I have the ability to obtain a job(s). Therefore I don’t have to be treated as his property. The way I see it as long as the certificate and society knows we’re married, why change my last name? Proof is better than perception right?! It’s not like I’m not going to respond to people who still calls me Cousin or if they call me Williams if I do decide to change my last name. The proof of our marriage is in the certificate. All that should matter. Not what you call me.
3. Updating sensitive items.
Changing my name is not only necessary but it is also a hassle. I’d have to change my name on my license, military ID, social security card, passport, credit cards, debit cards, social media, subscriptions, etc. Some take seconds to do. Others take weeks or months. It’s a hassle and headache that I’d rather not deal with. I mean really. It’ll cost me a lot of time and money to do and for what? A new last name?! Is it really worth it? I don’t think so.
4. Divorce.
God forbid, and I don’t foresee this ever happening,but what if we divorced? Then I would have to repeat the process mentioned in reason 3 all over again to go back to my maiden name. Not something I want to do in the first place let alone do it TWICE!
5. Death.
As aforementioned, it applies to this situation, too. If he dies, I’m a widow. Guess what, gotta change my name back. Nope.
You can say I’m lazy. You can say I’m probably not even ready to get married. But that won’t stop the fact that I AM getting married and will always feel the way that I feel. Not changing my name will not affect our nuptials, how we treat each other, the validity of our marriage license, the way our family and friends view us, etc. There is nothing to gain but everything to lose (time, money, confusion, etc). I choose you, Baby – not your last name. That’s all that should matter. Right?! Right!
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