The movies make the phrase “I love you” a big deal. You know, it’s said when one party realizes that this person is the one for them. In the romcoms, it usually escalates the relationship to the next level. When we were kids, that usually meant physical intimacy. But the times have changed. Growing up made us realize that that’s not always how relationships go. Depending on the situation, “I love you” might not mean really anything at all.

Sometimes “I love you” is uttered to pacify a situation.

Think about a couple that fights. all. the. time. They usually fight over the same thing–miscommunication, trust, or what-have-you. After a series of back-and-forth, he says it. She’s happy because he hadn’t said it before and he’s happy she stopped irritating him. He didn’t really mean it, he just wanted a moment of peace.

Or maybe it was said too soon.

Men with little-to-no real relationship experience feel like “I love you” is the same thing as “I like you” or “what we have is nice.” Serial daters say it because they really don’t know what love is. They hop from relationship to relationship to avoid dealing with intrapersonal issues. And as soon as this relationship ends, you’re left with the remnants of said “love.”

Point blank: his level of emotional maturity makes him say things he doesn’t mean or can’t handle. “I love you” should be a weighted phrase. Saying it to any and everyone diminishes its value. So next time someone says this to you, you’ll know wassup. Stay woke, sis.

Published by Ashleigh

Ashleigh is a recent M.S. graduate from Northeastern University. She works as an interactive designer in Atlanta and loves dogs, Netflix, and great food. Oh, also the creator and designer of this here shindig you are reading right now. View my impersonal personal blog @

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