[Almost] Everybody is Single. What.

You know how when we preface a statement with “everybody”, it really ends up applying to maybe two or three people? This is different. EVERYBODY is single. #WellActually, more than half of the U.S. adult population is #unchose. That’s right. We are the majority, finally! Well, sort of. Economist Edward Yardeni recently released a report that detailed that singles are taking over. And though that displays a shift in society, there are other meanings lying beneath the surface.

On one end, I assume this is good. “Never-married young singles are less likely to have children and previously married older ones, many of whom have adult children, are unlikely to have young kids.” No kids is a good thing, right? This means more money for flourishing, surviving, and whatever else we may please. But this could also imply that we aren’t getting married anymore or more marriages are failing. I mean, this week, Wiz and Amber broke our hearts up. Are we no longer interested in buying the cow because there’s milk at every grocery and convenience store? And because we aren’t buying the cow, are we getting tired of drinking the milk? Especially when we could get almond milk or soy? The option to settle down is no longer necessary as we (assumingly) are becoming more cognizant of having that family without legal obligation. The ring might no longer mean a thing.

Yardeni also stated something along the lines of “singles, particularly younger ones, are more likely to rent than to own their dwellings.” This could also be indicative of our lack of settling down. Apartments allow us to pack up and drift on a whim, if necessary. Or, we envision mortgages with the promises of a picket fence and nuclear family. That could be it, right?

The percentage of adult Americans who have never married has risen to 30.4 percent from 22.1 percent in 1976, while the proportion that are divorced, separated or widowed increased to 19.8 percent from 15.3 percent, according to the economist.

So, we are getting comfortable with success and family not being dependent on legal partnership. And if we do venture down that avenue, we are now more comfortable to free ourselves from damning and confining relationships. Divorce is an option and isn’t as taboo as it once was. People change. #Itiswhatitis.

What do you make of this? Is there a bigger issue at stake?

Credits: Amanda Sandlin

Study: Black Women are Spiritual

I’ve attended church for as long as I can remember. I started going to Catholic churches where girls that looked like me weren’t common. Then my mom and I started attending non-denominational churches. It wasn’t until I was about 14 or 15 when I actually began to enjoy church. I felt a connection in the message and I can say my true belief in God began then. However, with age I began to reflect on moments where I did not favor organized religion. The rules and practices became rigorous and not conducive towards letting the Spirit flow. At times, I questioned my place within the church. Apparently, I wasn’t alone.

University of Illinois researchers Tamilia D. Reed and Helen A. Neville wanted to tap into that notion, sorta. They conducted a web-based study to see how “religiosity and spirituality” affect the psychological well-being of the Black woman. Out of the 167 Black women that participated in the survey, 79% identified as “fairly to very spiritual.” Over 80% claimed Christianity, 11% claimed no religious affiliation, and 7% claimed a non-Christian faith.

“Spirituality’s full mediation of the relationship between religiosity and life satisfaction suggests that participants’ relationships to other people and to divine beings, along with meaning-making processes, may be the underlying mechanism that connects religion to mental health and life satisfaction. Based on our findings in the current sample, positive psychological well-being for black women may be better accounted for directly by spirituality than by religiosity,” Reed said.

So basically, the results of the study show that we perceive spirituality separately from religion. It may assist with the beliefs, but it is not necessary for one to have a spiritual relationship.

Do you agree? Do you think spirituality and religion go hand-in-hand?

Credits: Emuishere Peliculas

Explaining His Excuses: Image Restoration Tactics in Relationships

Crisis communication is a part of culture. It’s in the news as the NFL tries to protect itself from the abusive behaviors of its players. It’s on television as fictional “fixers” on shows such as Scandal and Ray Donovan draw in large audiences. And it’s in our daily lives as we interact with significant others, friends, and the like. The commonality lies in the efforts to maintain an image, despite what recent evidence might prove otherwise. So even though our ex-boyfriends don’t have a million dollar empire to protect, they might have attempted to “spin” their way out of a crisis that was detrimental to our relationship. Let’s explore some of the image restoration tactics these guys use:

Bolstering – Bragging on his accomplishments and achievements compared to the crisis. So what he decided to go out with his friends instead of going with you to attend your best friend’s engagement party? He went with you to her birthday dinner two months ago, where he bought a new suit and picked you up even though you live thirty minutes away in the opposite direction because your car broke down. So basically, throwing the fact that he was a “good boyfriend” to you should excuse the fact that he wasn’t there.

Compensation – Awarding something to try to remedy the crisis that occurred. Did he take you out to dinner at a five-star restaurant after you confronted him about liking his ex’s #ThrowbackThursday photo of them at a concert last summer? Did you wake up to pair of BCBGs after he missed your graduation to go on a boys trip? The-Dream even released a single about this four years ago. This method attempts to apologize through the purchase of something nice in hopes that you’ll forget what happened.

Defeasibility – Whatever happened could not have been him because it doesn’t even sound like something he’d do. Was he caught at a restaurant with a girl by your friend when he told you he was with a sick relative? Why would he lie about his cousin being sick? Does your friend even have evidence that it was him? Or say someone told you they saw him smoking weed at a party. He say wasn’t him because he has asthma. Granted it could have been him and it probably was, he will forever deny it because it seems out of his character.

Displacement – Placing the blame on someone or something else. He didn’t come over when you were sick because his sister needed the car and she got back later than he expected. It’s his sister’s fault. Not his. Or if he missed your three consecutive phone calls, it is because his phone died. And he told you his phone was dying so it’s also your fault for draining his battery. Definitely not this, though.

Minimization – Making this situation not seem as serious as it is. So if he offended your parents the first time they met, who cares? He’s not dating them. He’s dating you. Minimization shows that you’re making a bigger deal out of whatever happened.

Transcendence – Downplaying the situation because there are other dire events going on. While you’re complaining about him not taking you out to dinner for your promotion, there are starving children in Africa. You’re upset that he forgot your birthday but unarmed Black men are getting shot and they don’t get to celebrate any more birthdays. So what are you mad about?

You see, the lies and excuses he told you were legitimate restoration tactics that even Olivia Pope is familiar with. Remember this next time he attempts to get out of a situation. Public relations professionals are prepared for moments like this, now you are too.