Leading from the Bottom

As with many young professionals, your career usually commences with an entry level position. Entry level positions are oftentimes perceived unimportant because you believe you are coasting through attempting to become familiar with the company accompanied with a fear that no one values your opinion. Although you perceive that you are at the bottom of the “power” chain, your actions often shape your career progression for the future. Here are a few tips to help you become a leader from the bottom:

1.     You Cannot Be Heard If You Do Not Speak.

If you do not open your mouth to contribute, it becomes extremely difficult to be recognized as an effective contributor. Being the new person or underdog does not deem your opinions insignificant. Some people spend months or even years in silence during trainings and larger meetings at companies and go unnoticed. When it comes to African American women the in workplace, they are likely the minority which potentially leads to the feeling of isolation. Within the context of Latina, Leslie Gonzales and colleagues state that “their frequent solo status makes them hypervisible and at the same time invisible and the hypervisibility often leads to their tokenization in the workplace”.[1] This is the same case with Black women suggesting that not speaking up can influence tokenization. Whether it is a corporate meeting or a faculty meeting, your contributions are a necessity. Instead of sitting silently through meetings reluctant to speak because of a fear of being wrong, prepare to speak on what you know, which leads to the next point.

2.     Know and Master Your Role.

Regardless of how low you feel you are on the totem pole at your institution or company, know your role better than anyone else. When you read job descriptions during the application process, you often come across a section describing the roles and responsibilities of the position. This section may range from 3 to 13 bullet points depending on the needs of the company. Learning the roles and responsibilities of your position in addition to developing and perfecting them is essential to effectiveness which leads to success. Only until mastering your position, can you become a leader in your company. In doing so, your knowledge will be the totem of effectiveness. Just remember, starting from a nadir does not mean you have reached a nadir, nor does it mean you will stay there. 

3.     Plan to Lead.

In order to be an effective contributor you must plan. If you know the topics of the upcoming strategic meeting, research those topics, find as much data possible from previous years and learn it. Though new, this will make you an informed employee which will lead to relevant conversation when the opportunity arises. After gathering information, attempt to share your ideas in meetings with others when necessary. This does not mean dominating a meeting or presenter, nor does this suggest forcing your ideas on other, but make your suggestions known in order to be credited for them. If there is a time for remarks, use it to lead. Always remember to prepare yourself even if you have to tell your ideas to a significant other as practice before the meeting. Saying your ideas aloud will prepare you when you share them in the boardroom.  

A Quote of Inspiration

  1. “You don’t need a title to be a leader.” –Multiple Attributions

[1] Leslie Gonzales, Elizabeth Murakami, & Anne Marie Núñez, “Latina Faculty in the Labyrinth: Constructing and Contesting Legitimacy in Hispanic Serving Institutions,” Educational Foundations, 27, no.1/2, (2013): 65-89.

Statistics Surrounding Black Women and Domestic Violence

Currently, a Vine of a Black woman being slapped out of her chair by a Black male is going viral around #BlackTwitter (the Vine is purposely not linked). Now normally, we at unchose don’t normally go the route of shameless relevancy, but the statistics behind Black women and domestic violence are extremely troubling and need to be displayed. Though some are dated, the underlying message is extremely clear—domestic violence is an issue that we have to deal with more than women of other races. The stats below display that.

  • African-American women experience significantly more domestic violence than White women in the age group of 20-24. (U.S. Dept. of Justice)
  • The number one killer of African-American women ages 15 to 34 is homicide at the hands of a current or former intimate partner. (Tufts University)
  • In a study of African-American sexual assault survivors, only 17% reported the assault to police. (Tufts University)
  • Black females experienced intimate partner violence at a rate 35% higher than that of white females, and about 22 times the rate of women of other races. (U.S. Dept. of Justice)
  • Black women are they are less likely than whites women to use social services, battered women’s programs, or go to the hospital because of domestic violence. (Feminist Campus)
  • Black females historically have experienced intimate partner violence at rates higher than white females. (U.S. Dept. of Justice)
  • Approximately one in three African American women are abused by a husband or partner in the course of a lifetime. (U.S. Dept. of Justice)
  • Black females were four times more likely than white females to be murdered by a boyfriend or girlfriend. (U.S. Dept. of Justice)
  • In 2007, Black female victims of intimate partner homicide were twice as likely as white female homicide victims to be killed by a spouse. (U.S. Dept. of Justice)

The Department of Justice defines domestic violence as the following:

A pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner.  Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person. This includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.

For more information about domestic violence and how to get help, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline or call at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).

Credits: The Advocacy Project

Blacks and the Online Dating Stigma

I get the same response every time I tell someone Black that I met my boyfriend online. It starts off with a surprised look, then feigned approval in the form of a nod or follow-up comment.

“Yea, I read an article about that” or “My friend told me that her cousin met his wife online.”

Oh, okay. I get that they are trying to mask their uncertainty in fear of hurting my feelings or something, but after several conversations with friends and acquaintances, I’ve realized that this is an issue many experience. Some people, specifically Blacks, seem to be hesitant when it comes to online dating, despite the fact that 30% of African Americans know someone that has used a dating site or application. And I can understand why.

Though the Pew Research study proves that nearly one in three Blacks knows of someone who has used a dating site, there are two other Black people walking around not too familiar with that life. I can imagine that initially online dating was probably a “white folks thing” that was probably only heard of on television and in movies. I’m assuming it slowly crept into water cooler conversations and came up in hair salons. It is still something that #we as a whole aren’t too sure about because it doesn’t directly affect anyone we know.

Then, there is also the possibility that people have a fear of meeting people online because they’ve watched too much Lifetime and assume everyone is a Craigslist killer. The mere thought of engaging with a complete stranger is just mind-baffling, too. But I’m sure that the Black online daters are aware of their security and take precautions to protect themselves when they do decide to meet someone.

Apparently, 80% of African Americans over the age of 18 use the internet but I assume the level of activity varies. I imagine those who are more wary of online dating barely check or update their social media accounts and those accounts are only visible by family and friends. These people believe that the only people you follow on social media platforms that you don’t know are celebrities and tweeting more than 5x a day is “too much.” They can’t fully grasp the opportunities the internet can provide.

And also, there’s the whole thing about you probably appearing to be socially awkward because you didn’t meet someone the “old fashion way” meaning organically. 21% of internet users think that people who resort to online dating are desperate. In my personal experience, I’ve noticed that no one has that friend that they would love for you to meet like how it was in my parents’ day. That is partially because they either don’t want to get involved if something were to go sour, they don’t know any eligible candidates, nor do they want to share the few decent men they might know. I decided to make an account because I didn’t frequent many places where I could potentially bump into someone and I’m also not the type to go up to someone either. I just work, go home, and repeat. I imagine many others that resort to online dating probably are in the same predicament.

Pew Research implies that attitudes towards online dating are becoming more positive with time so eventually, the stigma will be a memory. But for now, the online dating stigma will continue to be an issue among the more conservative family members, friends, and acquaintances of color that just don’t understand the internet as a meeting space. Oh well.