Celibacy isn’t really something we’ve talked about here, yet it should be appreciated. To become celibate or maintain one’s celibacy requires a lot of focus, determination, and strength. However, this is not heralded in today’s dating world thus making it hard for celibate girls to thrive. So when one does start to get to know someone and tells them they are abstaining from sex, a few things usually happen:

He takes this as a challenge.

Your sexual restraint becomes a feat he wants to conquer. Your reasoning for celibacy—whether it be spiritual, personal, or mental—is a result of a bad relationship from the past. Well, he’s someone new. He can make a negative experience a good one so there’s no need for you to remain sexless, right?

He will tempt you.

Though you’ve explained that you haven’t had sex in fifty-‘leven days, he doesn’t care. You were just celibate until you got with that right one, whether he’s really it or not. So, movie nights might include delectable kisses. Delectable kisses might turn into heavy petting. And heavy petting, well, you get it. He’s not going to stop you as long as you keep going.

He might take his aggression out at you.

Not to imply that he’s going to resort to domestic violence, but he might find passive aggressive ways to pick at you. He might insinuate that you’re not doing “your job” because he’s not getting sexually satisfied through you. He’s upset that he’s spending time with you and shelling out money to take you out to not “get anything” in return. So don’t be surprised if his pettiness rears its head.

He looks for a “compromise.”

So you’re not going to give up the goods, well, okay. There are ways around that, right? He might be okay with other methods of relief if you’re game. You’d have to stand firm in the details of your celibacy, however.

He dips.

Your dedication to your celibacy is too much for ya boy. It requires him to be celibate as well (if you two were seeking an exclusive arrangement) and that is not what he signed up for. He may be upfront about it or he might just stop communicating. Don’t take it personal, though.

Men aren’t really heart-eye emoji over girls that are celibate. You know this. But there are some that do. If you’ve found that guy, hold on to him (if he’s worth it.) Don’t let a bunch of foolish guys distract you from your personal journey. Good luck.

Published by Ashleigh

Ashleigh is a recent M.S. graduate from Northeastern University. She works as an interactive designer in Atlanta and loves dogs, Netflix, and great food. Oh, also the creator and designer of this here shindig you are reading right now. View my impersonal personal blog @ socialeigh.com.

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