When you’re single, everyone has ideas about how to get chose. Maybe you should try online dating! Have you gone to any networking events? I know someone who met their boyfriend at one. Well, have you ever thought about dating a white guy?

It always came that. Like, if I were to expand my standard algorithm to include all white everything, I’d instantly get chose.

Nah. I never wanted to date a white guy. In this Olivia Pope/Fitzgerald Grant swirl world we live in, that has never been a desire. Sure, I find Jon Hamm to be absolutely breathtaking, but he’s a celeb. And he’s with that one chick from those movies. So I’m good.

Plus, I live in the South where you don’t find too many white guys eager to find their “Black queen.” Or if you do, they are way too eager to use phrases like “Black queen” and that type of jargon just doesn’t rub me the right way, especially not coming from his white mouth. And I never really believed in the whole “Italian men love Black women” thing.

It really boils down to this:

I don’t want to parent my future children with someone who can’t relate to the experience of being Black.

When George Zimmerman got off for killing an unarmed black teen, I was angry and hurt. I felt let down by our justice system and afraid for my future sons. And though many non-Blacks rallied in the streets in the days after the trial ended, they eventually took off their hoodies and went back to life as normal. Trayvon Martin’s cause was only temporary for them as months later, their social accounts would be void of disgust from Zimmerman’s recent ploy of relevancy. I could not raise my caramel, tan, pecan, or beige children with a man who would never be persecuted by the color of his skin. It just didn’t make sense to me.

So no, I never thought about seriously dating a white guy. But that’s just my personal opinion. In 2010, Pew Research Center revealed that 8.4% of U.S. marriages are interracial so obviously, some don’t agree. And that’s great for them but that was never the life I envisioned for myself. I just love an attractive and intelligent Black man. *Shrug.

Thoughts?

Credits: Dustin McClure

Published by Ashleigh

Ashleigh is a recent M.S. graduate from Northeastern University. She works as an interactive designer in Atlanta and loves dogs, Netflix, and great food. Oh, also the creator and designer of this here shindig you are reading right now. View my impersonal personal blog @ socialeigh.com.

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  1. Ashleigh

5 Comments

  1. I can completely relate to this post, because this is exactly the way I felt. I always had in my mind who I would end up with, and coming from a PRO-Black EVERYTHANG kind of family…I just never looked at any man outside of those that looked similar to me.

    Then the unexpected happened, and I ended up “meeting” a white guy online. I never responded to his messages, but he was persistent in a non-creepy way, so I just ended up responding. I was very upfront with him about my dating preference and the concerns I had with interracial dating. I wasn’t be the first black woman he ever dated and he understood my concerns.

    We ended up being together for almost 6 years. It was very strange because he wasn’t like any other white man, who was attracted to/dated black women. He was from a small rural town and came from a hardcore liberal family (which is odd for the area he grew up in) that mirrored everything I believed in and was taught growing up. He never tried to be anything he wasn’t. Everyone in his family are genuinely the most understanding and nice people I have ever met..and it was the complete opposite of what I EVER expected.

    1. That is awesome. I have to admit, while I was single, I wasn’t completely opposed because I felt like if God wanted me to be with a white guy, he’d obviously be just a cool guy to with. But I think my hesitation also came from assuming that the only kind of white guy I’d be attracted to in Georgia would end up coming from a conservative background that wouldn’t know how to deal with me comfortably. 😐

  2. I’ve dated 4 white guys. I felt exoticized by 3 out of 4 of them. I’ve always been open minded about who I date, but my experiences have taught me so much about myself and what I can’t tolerate. I won’t rule out ever dating a white guy again, but as long as the only white guys who are interested in me are those who just want a girl who looks like me, I will politely pass. I will not be the brown arm candy. Then again, there are so many people out here, so can’t judge till you meet someone and see what they’re all about.

    1. This is so true as well. I know there are good guys out there in every race and background, but I think my defining moment really just solidified what kind of guys I’m attracted to.

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