Sistren, we need to talk. Summer is basically here and this means several things. For one, it evokes the social butterfly out of many. Calendars become filled with weddings, birthday celebrations, cookouts, graduation parties, and casual engagements. Two, it is the true season of the stunt as many are flying out to get #chose or just floss for the ‘Gram. But as the Facebook invites begin to pile up, we need to get a few things straight. This is my open letter to Black girls everywhere.
First, stop arriving to these events late. If the dinner reservation is for 8:30, show up at 8:15. A lot of these places won’t seat you until the entire party shows up. So 8:30 means “let me take you to your table” not text your friend that you’re 15 minutes away. Hosts, if you know that you have a lot of CPT attendees, start scheduling your events 30 minutes to an hour earlier so that they arrive when you really want them to be there. This also means that you, the host, should be there early too.
RSVPs are implemented for many reasons. The main one is probably because they let the host know how many people are coming. That way, they know how many people to anticipate. RSVPs usually have a deadline.
That deadline is usually not minutes before the event nor the day of. To be honest, it is probably not even the day before.
Saying you are coming to an event in the 99th hour is normally rude, especially if whatever you’re heading to requires a reservation or a lot of preparation. Please honor the RSVP and don’t just show up with two of your cousins no one has met.
We can’t always make it to every event. This is completely understandable, especially for those with busier schedules. However, to inform the host that you will not be able to attend the dinner/wedding/barbecue you once said you were coming to within 48 hours of the event is just ridiculous. Stuff comes up. I get that. But to send a text 15 minutes out… girl. Come on. You either knew you could make it or not. I think it’s better off to inform the host upfront if you aren’t sure you’ll be able to come. He or she will be better prepared if you have to bail at the last minute.
Please, stop with the super-stunty dinners and birthday activities. Know your guests. If your homegirls make $35k a year and live in an apartment that costs $700/mo, your birthday dinner in the city might run them a pretty penny. Go with me on this. Sometimes people aren’t just paying for the dinner. They’re paying for the outfit/hair/nail/eyebrow aesthetics (because Instagram and obligatory city stunts), the gas to get to the location, whatever fee it costs to park there, and the actual meal and drinks. And that’s just for the dinner. That doesn’t include multiple celebrations nor going out afterwards. Now if all your friends got it like that, then ignore this whole paragraph. But, you know. Be considerate.
I don’t write this to be a crab. I just believe that we should do more and be better at this whole event game. Showing up late, not confirming attendance, and month-long birthday celebrations have got to cease. I know this isn’t an overnight process. And I know that this might not apply to everyone. Some are perfectly fine with last minute confirmations and spending $300 just to attend an event. However, I’m sure the majority don’t feel that way. Just…try. Be a bit more mindful of others. That’s all. And enjoy your summer!
Credits: Dafne Chalet