This is Where the Fine and Not-So-Fine Live

Every year, Travel and Leisure put out their America’s Favorite Places survey where visitors of the magazine/website can share their personal experiences in a qualitative form. This survey is then the source of many articles and lists that detail certain trends, favorites, and the like. So, it was no surprise that Travel and Leisure released the “America’s Most and Least Attractive People” list last month. And for your sake, especially all of you #unchose unchose readers out there, the following are the top 5 places where bae might live:

  1. Miami, FL
  2. San Diego, CA
  3. Charleston, SC
  4. Los Angeles, CA
  5. Providence, RI

Okay, let’s assume this survey was filled out by folks with melanin. The top four cities could potentially be 2015 vacation spots for the eye candy alone. Throw in Providence for the hope of a #swirl fling. But let’s not stop here. T+L also listed the places where the folks aren’t so fine.

  1. Detroit, MI
  2. Memphis, TN and Oklahoma City, OK
  3. Baltimore, MD
  4. Philadelphia, PA

Well, dang. Again, this could really just be demographic shade due to the survey participants. Or maybe the folks in Philly really do have womp faces.

Check out the rest of the list on T+L’s website. What do you think?

Credits: Ines Hegedus-Garcia

New Year’s Resolutions For What?

It’s December! Which means New Year’s resolutions time.

Confession: I don’t like these things.

They allow you to procrastinate. – “I don’t have to start eating healthy until January 1st! That means I have a whole month to eat an entire medium pizza for dinner every night.”

Then they make you rush. – “Oh shoot, it’s October and I haven’t accomplished anything on this resolutions list…lemme go buy some Lypozene right quick.”

I mean, really. If your NYr is “in 2015 I’m going to stop procrastinating,” isn’t it butt backwards to then wait (read: procrastinate) until January 1st to stop procrastinating? Think about it. Then when the colder seasons come and you realize that you’ve accomplished little to nothing on your list, you make haste to try to accomplish whatever little bit of a goal that you can and end up missing out on the actual journey that you have to take to achieve a goal.

Why do we have to wait until January 1, 201x to change our lives? What if we never see 2015…or any other year? Add “it makes you take life for granted” to my list of reasons why I don’t care to have an NYr list. In my opinion, it’s much more productive to say, “Starting TAH-DAY I will…” Give yourself a time limit if your must but don’t limit yourself to saving $1,000/losing weight/tithing more/learning French/etc. only once the new year starts. Start now. Be motivated enough to change your life now. Don’t forget that cliché quote: Today is the first day of the rest of your life. It’s true! Why would you wait until January 1st to try to make the rest of your life different? You know what you need and want to change. Get to it and stop acting like change revolves around a date on the calendar.

insert Everest College commercial man headshake

Family, Holidays, and Being Single: How to Deal

Not everyone enjoys the holidays. Beyond the good Thanksgiving and Christmas eating and paid time off, the holidays really are another opportunity to usher in familial shade. Every pound added will be discussed. Your occupation and educational choices will be dissected. And if you’re single, so will your lack of a #him. Grandmothers, aunts, and older cousins don’t understand that a lot of women aren’t married by 25 like they were. If you have a sister or a cousin that has accomplished all of this and is within a 5 year age window from you, then the pressure will be on even more. But dangit, the dating game has changed and folks got other things to worry about. If this seems like a scenario you might be facing, heed the following tips on how to deal.

Respond with a witty comeback.

Don’t be too smart because then you’ll have to deal with sassing old folks and respecting elders ON TOP of being single. Chances are, they’ll find a way to connect the two. “With an attitude like that, no wonder…” Okay, girl. We get it. So when they ask “what’s a smart girl like you doing all alone”, you can ask them if they know someone you’d be interested in? (Since they got all the questions, maybe they have the answers too.) Or, you can respond by saying you’re waiting on the right person to come along and because of all that you have going for yourself, you refuse to settle. The #oop factor is always a good route.

Make sure your attitude is confident.

You gotta look like you believe everything you’re saying. If you say you’re single because you’re focused on your career, you can’t say it without oomph. If your family members put that much weight on relationships, you must put the same amount of confidence into defending your singledom. Like, mentioned above, having a witty comeback can add to that confidence. Something like “God hasn’t sent him to me yet” will give them the answer they wanted.

Keep your phone charged.

If all else fails and you end up on the couch next to your great auntie you talk to maybe three times a year, keep your phone handy. Actually, make sure you’ve claimed first dibs on the seat next to the wall with the outlet. That way, if someone starts asking you questions or you end up in a small talk convo that keeps dragging itself out, pull out your phone. Play Candy Crush. Get some tweets out. Scroll through your photos and tag your plate. Find solace, if temporarily, in your smartphone. I know they say you should unplug and spend time with your family, but sometimes that phone is what is keeping you sane.

Let’s face it; your folks were gonna have something to say regardless. That’s just in old folks nature. If you had a man, they’d be asking how long is it going to be until he proposes. And when you’re married, they’ll want to know how long will it be until you two start having kids. And don’t let one of y’all, if not both, already have kids. You get what I’m saying. Just try to make the most of the holiday and don’t let the comments get to you. You know your life and that’s all that matters. Old folks gon’ old; enjoy the football game and the grub and forget the rest.