An Open Letter to Black Girls That Attend and Plan Events

Sistren, we need to talk. Summer is basically here and this means several things. For one, it evokes the social butterfly out of many. Calendars become filled with weddings, birthday celebrations, cookouts, graduation parties, and casual engagements. Two, it is the true season of the stunt as many are flying out to get #chose or just floss for the ‘Gram. But as the Facebook invites begin to pile up, we need to get a few things straight. This is my open letter to Black girls everywhere.

First, stop arriving to these events late. If the dinner reservation is for 8:30, show up at 8:15. A lot of these places won’t seat you until the entire party shows up. So 8:30 means “let me take you to your table” not text your friend that you’re 15 minutes away. Hosts, if you know that you have a lot of CPT attendees, start scheduling your events 30 minutes to an hour earlier so that they arrive when you really want them to be there. This also means that you, the host, should be there early too.

RSVPs are implemented for many reasons. The main one is probably because they let the host know how many people are coming. That way, they know how many people to anticipate. RSVPs usually have a deadline.

That deadline is usually not minutes before the event nor the day of. To be honest, it is probably not even the day before.

Saying you are coming to an event in the 99th hour is normally rude, especially if whatever you’re heading to requires a reservation or a lot of preparation. Please honor the RSVP and don’t just show up with two of your cousins no one has met.

We can’t always make it to every event. This is completely understandable, especially for those with busier schedules. However, to inform the host that you will not be able to attend the dinner/wedding/barbecue you once said you were coming to within 48 hours of the event is just ridiculous. Stuff comes up. I get that. But to send a text 15 minutes out… girl. Come on. You either knew you could make it or not. I think it’s better off to inform the host upfront if you aren’t sure you’ll be able to come. He or she will be better prepared if you have to bail at the last minute.

Please, stop with the super-stunty dinners and birthday activities. Know your guests. If your homegirls make $35k a year and live in an apartment that costs $700/mo, your birthday dinner in the city might run them a pretty penny. Go with me on this. Sometimes people aren’t just paying for the dinner. They’re paying for the outfit/hair/nail/eyebrow aesthetics (because Instagram and obligatory city stunts), the gas to get to the location, whatever fee it costs to park there, and the actual meal and drinks. And that’s just for the dinner. That doesn’t include multiple celebrations nor going out afterwards. Now if all your friends got it like that, then ignore this whole paragraph. But, you know. Be considerate.

I don’t write this to be a crab. I just believe that we should do more and be better at this whole event game. Showing up late, not confirming attendance, and month-long birthday celebrations have got to cease. I know this isn’t an overnight process. And I know that this might not apply to everyone. Some are perfectly fine with last minute confirmations and spending $300 just to attend an event. However, I’m sure the majority don’t feel that way. Just…try. Be a bit more mindful of others. That’s all. And enjoy your summer!

Credits: Dafne Chalet

6 Tips to Help You Prepare for Your Job Interview

Congrats, boo! You landed a job interview! Look at God and all that hard work paying off! Once the high of being a potential job candidate has died down, you need to start to prepare for your job interview. Job interviews can be a stressful part of the hiring process if you don’t plan accordingly. The following six tips will help you prepare for your job interview:

1. Wear dark colored suit that fits well and doesn’t hug your body.

If you don’t have suit, opt for a nice cardigan and work skirt or slacks. Try to stay away from wearing club-friendly clothes and shoes, if you can. Be as conservative as possible.

2. Research company.

Research social media. Go on Glassdoor. Go on LinkedIn. If the hiring generalist or manager sent you the list of people who will be interviewing them, look them up immediately. Find out what schools they went to, what their majors were, what jobs they had leading up to the role they are currently in. This will give you a feel for who they are without really knowing them.

3. Review job description.

Highlight any similarities in your current skill sets and job competences with what they want in this role. Print it off, even, and look over it several times before the actual interview.

4. Practice the question portion of the interview.

Rehearse answering typical interview questions like what are your strengths and weakness, how did you overcome a challenge, and the like. Remember, they will also ask you to shed some light on your background, so review your resume to make sure that you don’t leave anything pertinent out. Also, prepare any questions you might want to ask them. You are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you.

5. Print off several copies of your resume.

Potential employers and coworkers that will interview you may have forgotten their copy. There might be a few that never got the chance to view your resume at all–the hiring manager just scheduled the interview with little-to no information provided. Having a copy of your resume available in a portfolio or nice folder will show that you are prepared.

6. Head to the interview early.

Give yourself at least 45-60 minutes wiggle room. You might get stuck in traffic or get lost on the way over. It would really, really suck to arrive late or a few minutes before the interview has begun. Arriving early allows you to go over everything one last time. Perhaps, it could also relieve some of the pre-interview jitters some have before the fun begins.

Remember, the majority of the interview process is what you make of it. If you want it to be good, it will be good. You just have to be prepared and believe that you deserve this job. Then you will be able to convince your future employers as well. Good luck!

He Doesn’t Want to Commit

You’ve been getting to know your #him for a while now. You can truly say you like him. Your heart flutters when you hear his name. The thought of him makes you smile. There haven’t been too many hiccups so far, so there hasn’t been a reason to run. Well, until you started to ponder your actual relationship status. You realized that he hasn’t mentioned anything about being exclusive and wonder if he will ever do so. You finally muster up the courage to ask him where do you two stand and what future he sees for you. If he said anything similar to one of the following, get on out, girl.

“I just want to take my time. I don’t want to rush into anything.”

“Let’s see how this goes.”

“I like what we have now.”

“Labels ruin things.”

“We’ll see.”

“I don’t want to risk anything by placing any expectations.”

“Maybe.”

“I want to get to know you better.”

“I mean, I’m not seeing anyone else. Are you trying to date somebody?”

All of these are excuses to keep you along for the ride that doesn’t have a real destination. Simply put, he’s saying he isn’t ready to settle down for whatever reason. He doesn’t want to commit.

He could be immature and simply enjoy the “freedom” that comes with no solid definition. However, that does not mean that he might not have some interest in you. He could honestly enjoy you as much as you enjoy him…just not enough to be on the lockdown.

BUT, he does not mind whatever y’all are doing now. If you don’t need a title and do not mind him being able to do whatever he wants because technically you two aren’t “together”, then have at it. But don’t compromise your wants out of this relationship because he is stagnant.

If you want to date someone who wants to date you and wants to claim the relationship publicly, then he isn’t the guy for you. Don’t let your pride nor a state of solitude jeopardize your happiness. You are worth more than that.