I Found Two Degrees, But Not My Soulmate

Let’s make it clear. I wanted to get married to a “college sweetheart”. Life plan: Meet someone sophomore year. Get engaged senior year. Be married. Actual life: Met someone sophomore year. Screwed things up. Got engaged senior year. Worst. Decision. Ever.

Two degrees later with an exciting and promising career, I can’t help but be slightly miffed at the onslaught of articles and blog posts accusing women of misusing their college years for academic and professional gain rather than passionately pursuing the title of “Mrs”. When these parajumpers Kodiak critiques come from women, the feminist in me rages because once again, the problems of the world are still my fault, because I am woman.

My general understanding of men is that they don’t do what they don’t want to do. Society tells men that they can wait for marriage because they have options. Think about it, the numbers are in their favor. According to a Forbes magazine article, in 2008 there was an average of 56.38% women, whereas men accounted for 43.62% at public universities. If every single woman came to college on a man parajumpers Kodiak Long Parka hunt, somebody would be left out. Additionally, many men are still exploring their beings in college and are not looking to settle down. (Heck, many men in their late twenties and thirties are parajumpers Long Bear still not looking to settle down.) As women, we feel the need to rush as we race against our biological clocks. But are we giving men the upper hand by aggressively searching for a mate?

Also, marriage is great and all, but the person I would have been 5 years ago is entirely different from the person I am now. Would my personal growth have been stunted or would we find ourselves at a crossroad today, as people on two very separate paths? And more importantly, am I to blame for carrying on with my life rather than wallowing about a “failure to marry” in 4 out of 25 years of accomplishments in my life? Millennial women of today are already dealing with a lot. We are looking to forge our careers and paths in a slowly rebuilding economy. We are learning the “in between” stages of life no one ever told us about. We are closing the wage gap, we are doing kick ass things, we are continuing to build a legacy for girls that will grow up after us. So, if we didn’t manage to hog tie a man between Biology lab and Spanish 2 four years ago, give us a break okay?

Credits: Nate Bolt

How Your Family and Friends Sabotage Your Weight Loss Journey

With alarming statistics such as “About four out of five African American women are overweight or obese” and “African American women are nearly 40 percent more likely to die of cardiovascular disease than white women,” there is no wonder why some of us choose to lose weight.

It doesn’t really matter what your catalytic moment was, but it prompts you to evaluate everything you’ve been doing and attempt to change it. You begin to look up clean and lean recipes to cook instead of eating out as much. You incorporate regular workouts into your daily schedule, possibly forgoing 45 minutes of Twitter or another idle activities. You research everything related to your new journey and embark upon it excitedly.

And once you’ve started to get a good groove going, this likely happens:

A family member guilts you into eating food they’ve prepared.

And knowing them, this food is heavy on fats, calories, and cholesterol. But they’ve made it quite apparent that they’ve slaved in the kitchen and you are extremely disrespectful if you don’t eat any or at least take a “decent” portion.

A friend or family members tries to make you feel insecure about how you look.

They might say you’ve gotten “too skinny” as if they’re the ones that can really judge the appropriate size of an individual. Also, “there was nothing wrong with you before” can be viewed as a backhanded compliment. It assumes that you don’t know your body and that you’ve wasted your time by putting effort into this recent change. Losing weight simply wasn’t necessary.

They might try to call your weight loss journey an obsession.

Yes, having some personal accountability is among the same ranks as a boy-crazed teenage girl and Ted Bundy. Instead of applauding your dedication towards a better life, they try to demean your progress by making you seem like a crazed addict.

Your loved ones might turn your progress into a means to victimize them.

You might have shared similar lifestyles with your homegirls and cousins and nem. If all of you are around the same size and you start to lose weight, then that would obviously make them feel a certain way. You are essentially their mirror, so your changes might read as a subliminal dis. If this is something they’ve been battling internally, you essentially just slapped them in the face.

Someone might suggest that your weight loss isn’t altruistic but selfishly and shallowly motivated.

IE “Who you trying to look cute for?” or “Who you trying to look like?” So they’re assuming that you can’t want to positively change yourself for yourself, but you’re trying to get #chose or emulate someone you’ll never be. They think you’re trying to please people that don’t matter. This normally is followed up with “if they don’t like you for who you are…” You know what it is.

Though we’d like to think they mean well, these comments can be damaging to someone who is venturing out on a new, life-altering process. Being committed to a better and healthier life requires supportive people that will encourage you, not sabotage your weight loss journey.

If you find yourself surrounded by people are cancerous to your goals, find alternate ways to interact with them but don’t forget the big picture. You want to lose weight; do it no matter what. Good luck!

Credits: beketchai

9 Tips That’ll Make You A Great Intern

You got through the mounds of resumes and somehow your interview polished it off. So now what? Here are a few mental notes that will make you a stellarly great intern.

  1.  Getcha butt to work on time and show up. If you’re late for whatever reason, let someone know immediately. And stay after to make up that time.
  2.  Speaking of which…Be upfront. If something comes up, let someone know immediately. Got a doctor’s appointment? Tell your superiors days, even weeks in advance. Illnesses and family emergencies happen, but remember you’re at the bottom of the ladder.
  3. And unless told otherwise, you don’t get time off. Monday through Friday belongs to the internship. Don’t plan vacations, girl. Sorry.
  4. Let your supervisor(s) know when you’ve finished a task/assignment. In busy organizations, your boss might not micromanage you so you could be left without something to do for days.
  5. When you’re not busy, still appear to be. Nothing is worse than catching an intern aimlessly on Tumblr. What are we paying you (or giving you credit) for?
  6. Throw out all preconceived notions about interns that you’ve gathered from TV and movies. Nobody is getting anybody coffee. This is marketing, not “The Devil Wears Prada.”
  7. Look like everyone else. Yes, I know, I know, but attempt to blend in your corporate environment. You don’t want to draw unnecessary attention to yourself.
  8. Say thank you. When you get the position, say thanks. Nothing like a handwritten expression of gratitude, too. When you leave, say thank you. You’ve gained experience and were under the tutelage of real bosses, regardless of how much you actually learned.
  9. But don’t assume this will turn into a full-time job though. Especially if you’ve accepted an unpaid internship. But that kind of optimism will get you through the next 40 years of labor.

Hopefully this helps. You’d think this would be self-explanatory, but you’d be surprised. So enjoy! You’re on your way to a real entry-level position!

Credits: Richard Streeter