Online Dating Tips for People Who’ve Never Tried It Before

If you’re like me, you know a few people who’ve met their boyfriend/fiancé/husband through the Internet. I have a friend who technically met her husband through MySpace and a coworker who met her fiancé through eHarmony. With one in ten Americans admitting to using a dating website, finding a romantic counterpart through the Internet is no longer unheard of or overly stigmatized. I was one of those people that decided to try it out after a “why not” moment. But, trying these sites (yes, I tried multiple) on a whim didn’t allow me to mentally prepare for what I might encounter. So for those thinking about joining a dating site or app, here are a few online dating tips for those who have never tried it before.

You won’t automatically get #chose upon signing up.

Just because you’ve filled out your profile and added the cutest professional/selfie/cropped out friend party shots doesn’t mean that some extremely handsome guy will be taken aback and automatically message you within the first 24 hours.

Don’t come off defensive nor desperate.

I’ve heard of people encountering pages where women were either really selective or too eager for attention. Remember, what you put out is what you’ll receive. Look at what you put in your profile and remove anything that might display you in a bad light.

You don’t have to respond to every message you get.

Don’t compromise your standards just because someone with two kids and a partial Bachelor’s degree and a cute smirk sent you a message. If you wouldn’t entertain them off the computer, don’t do it now.

Certain dating sites have certain reputations.

Do your research first. If you want a relationship, one site could potentially be better than another. If you just want someone to hang out with as you’re tired of doing the matinee thing alone every weekend, another site might be better. Ask your friends and just search the Internet for what others have to say.

Just because you think he’s cute and you’re both on this dating site doesn’t mean a thing.

Yea, so you winked or poked or whatever the guy that seems like he has his life together. And then you wait, and wait, and wait a little bit more. You saw that he viewed your page and still, no bite. Welp. Every now and then, he’s just obviously not that into you.

You might have to evaluate what you really want.

Is it really crucial that he must abide by your “no contact on Thursdays during Scandal” rule? Is it ok if he’s one or two semesters away from graduating? What if he has a somewhat decent full-time job but works the night shift? All the hypothetical situations you’ve run through in your mind might actually be on display in the form of a dating profile. Sometimes, something has to give.

Be patient.

Don’t check your page/account every day. Try checking 2-3x a week. You’re going to get used to seeing the SAME faces over and over again. Eventually someone you either overlooked or is new to the site might appear in your potential matches and who knows…

You might not meet anyone at all.

A sad reality to this online dating game is that you could leave just as #unchose as you came. Your friends have successful online dating encounters, but that doesn’t happen to everyone. If you’ve given yourself a certain period of time and still feel unsatisfied with the selection you’ve been given, deactivate your account. Come back later, if you need to.

To be honest, signing up for a dating site is a gamble. The same guys you’d swerve in real life are online. Some might be the one for you and some might not. You could always take this as an opportunity to get a free meal and to network, if anything at all. And remember to be very careful. Let someone you trust know if you ever decide to meet someone in person.

Good luck!

Credits: sqback

5 Things I Should Do Before My 30s

I often scoff at older people when they get the glassy-look in their eyes whilst recalling their 20s. I wondered how other people enjoyed their twenties, while I simply endure it. So eventually, I decided perhaps the problem was with me, and the onus was on my mindset to ensure that I enjoy the last 5 years of my twenties. So, being the list maker that I am, I have come up with a list of woolrich Arctic Anorak things I should do before I turn 30.

A note to the 30 somethings: I am very misguided, since I am only 25 so if you have some better ideas on how to enjoy my 20s be sure to guide me to the correct path.

  1. Make mistakes so I can be smug in my 30s when I’m “wiser”.
    I’m not sure what these mistakes might entail, but I surmise that being wrong will make me feel better about being barely right later.
  2. Probably start donating to my 401k.
    I feel like maybe now would be a good time to start planning for my future. Saving is saving. Or whatever. Eat ramen today so I can filet mignon in the future.
  3. Decide what “Enjoying my 20s” means.
    This is the hardest because my definition of “enjoying” seems to not be the mainstream definition for people my age. I enjoy doing nothing. Just sitting in bed and watching TV and not really doing productive things, to counteract the 40 hours of productivity I am forced to contribute for income purposes. But most people my age like “going out” and “having fun”. But, considering I hope to have my 30s to be my child bearing and rearing years, I may never get to nap or sleep in my 30s. So maybe napping and sleeping is “enjoying my 20s”. This is what I have to decide. Preferably sooner than later.
  4. Find a workout activity I don’t hate.
    As nature takes its course and my metabolism evaporates, I should probably find some form of physical activity I don’t despise that I can do multiple times a week. Fingers crossed on that one.
  5. Learn something once a year to keep my mind “fresh”.
    Right now I’m learning wine. But I also have languages and other arts I would like to learn. The hope is to continue to learn things to become a greater, more well-rounded being. In January, I’m actually taking a free course from Yale about Greek architecture from a website called Coursera. (This is no endorsement, I’m just really excited.)
My past five years have been very eventful, but now that I’m out of school I think I need to fill woolrich Arctic Jacke the next five to leave myself little time to sulk. Hopefully, with this list in tow, I’ll be able to look back in five years and wistfully note that the 20s where the best years of my life.

The Bae Zone (The Relationship Twilight Zone)

Many men fear the friend zone. They view it is a place of no return. When a woman is comfortable enough to be scantily clad in their presence but not for their presence woolrich outlet and all hopes of possible carnal interaction evaporates. Men have identified this as their sworn enemy grounds, and have developed tactics to wage war against this undesired placement.

However, women have a zone that is equally as potentially harmful to our goal to establish a mature, reciprocal relationship. However, since many women are not aware of such a zone, they are often left defenseless from lack of proper planning and pseudo-militant tactics.

What is this zone you ask? The Bae Zone. Confused? Let me explain.

The Bae Zone is a needlessly prolonged state where you assume you are in an almost-relationship with a guy but he hasn’t asked you to take the next step with him.

At first, you assure yourself that he is just taking his time but after some time you find yourself in the same stagnant state–you’re the kind-of girl that gives him all the girlfriend comforts he wants without having to commit.

Sounds familiar? You and I have probably been in this place before.

So now that we’ve established the enemy zone. How do we combat it? Truth is, I’m not entirely sure yet so I will try to help you with my failures. I’ve tried guerrilla tactics such as activating the “black woman neck roll” power move and angrily demanding a promotion, or at the very least, a status meeting. That didn’t work much- men are like deer, easily frightened or whatever when you come charging at them. I’ve tried waiting through (for 6 months – a year) to see if he’d come around. Didn’t work either, he was good and comfortable in the arrangement that he had created and I had unknowingly found myself in.

My only guess is maybe I shouldn’t readily woolrich online give the “girlfriend comforts” without the confines of a relationship. Meaning, keep an open mind while you are getting to know someone. Know that you like them but you liking them doesn’t obligate you to be committed to someone you haven’t made the commitment step with. We are all now adults and keep communication lines clear. Be ready to be real with yourself and watch for the signs that will surely tell you when you are approaching the Bae Zone. Good luck, it’s war out there!

Credits: Nathan Congleton